Hi.Listening to techno music and radio about it. Could I buy a loft in Detroit? I heard is cheap there. Trying to forget reasons to why make music and will start working on it from now. I'm really into tech. Have always been.

16th of January. Every night before i go to bed i try to find a not so good review of the new album, and i get what i ask for. I am not saying i am a genius of any kind, but my goal has been to make 'new' music, and from my knowledge about new music through the history it has not been well received at any early stage. I must say, I cant speak of if the record is worth anything, but I have a feeling it is going to keep growing. For whatever that is worth. Purpose? Like myself better? Probably. Treating myself with music that comforts me? Yes. Getting people to like what I do? Sure. It is a narrow path the creativity. Am I doing this for some higher good, or is it to boost my ego? I don't know, I never know that.

For the very very interested. At some points, i have compared the belief in god to the fact that you instead can have that relation to music. And you feel as small compared to the music as the believer feel compared to god. The important questions are similar. Can I believe in the infinite possibilities of music and would it really be wise give all my soul to it? I find it hard to explain, but ive had a similar relation to music to the way people describe their relation to god and the supernatual. The same disappointment that can strike a believer when she finds out there might not be anything more, can strike you when you start to fear music isnt infinite and in a wider perspective, good. The search of this, is my motor in music. I am not close to reaching it and the music has not reached the level of flying by itself. The polyvinyl website, my american record label, says it is finally my master piece. Probably because it slipped my tounge at some point, wanting it to be true. It is not. The album 'Dear John' is a work in progress, all my music is a work in progress, and hopefully it can mean something to me and to others. Probably in a frozen moment, someone listening to a certain song on a record or if we manage to strike a song on a certain concert in a certain way. Most times it not that way. The album is the work of a fairly young person, learning music. Hopefully it can be a good start into something more complex and more alive. Keep this in mind when you listen and when you review it. Im not close yet.

Sometimes when i lie in bed (I do most of my thinking either in bed or in the shower) i get vertigo when thinking of different musical intervals and situations. The third and fifth can sometimes feel so close to the first note and other times like a high towers to can fall from. The third note has for the last years been my saviour. Keeping your life tied to such a narrow thing as an interval brings you problems, and makes you wonder if it is sane. Other times it sooths sooths sooths and brings everything to a meaning. Compare to thinking of someone that might actually not exist at all and that doesnt talk to you?

This does sound very head up in own arse, but it actually matters. I hope this is more of a surface for further discussions that an explanation of its own. I am not yet a writer and hope someone can help to explain. Im not halfway there. / Emil

29th DEC 2008. Kidz. We are coming closer to the whatever we should call it. This is me on the picture. My royal photographer took it. Suits me very fine. I had a marvellous time in New York in december. Thank you every single person I met and talked to. I just read I said somewhere i aimed for a masterpiece with this record. It turned out pretty ok. Aim for the stars... Im decently satisfied with the results but rather hope its a good stop on the way to making more (fill in suitable words here) music, for whatever reason that is. It makes me feel good. when i create something new. I guess i'd put it that way. If you see me on stage in january. Ask me to play the song violent.

"
you came over, you came to my head. And I never knew no one like you. I never knew no one like you. And with your voice, you kept me slumbering from unease. And you took me to the other side. And I never knew no one like you. With you inside my ears, with your words print to my hands. And its so hard to change, from wrong to everything O.K. Its so hard to change, when everything turns to you. I was your treasure, and you gave me names. You said never let no one get close, and I never knew no one like you. You came to know me, and all my dirty sides. And you took me over to your side, and I never knew no one like you. With you inside my ears, with your words print to my hands. And its so hard to change, from wrong to everything O.K. Its so hard to change, when everything turns to you. Violence, come closer. Believe in me. I'm rowing, on a sea so wide. Dove into a river, wider than we had seen. And you, you.

"

26th of June. Im starting to get that good Loney, Noir feeling about the record. Its a bit darker, dark glowing red, blue and green. Perhaps yellow. Im actually in the phase of finishing it all. Still a lot to think about but it feels like im getting there. Dont know if its a real deadline but now im working towards the deadline 11th of august. seems very reasonable.

18TH of MAY. The Rolling stone haldern tour.

18 MARCH. Could this possibly be the last day ever? Im not depressed or anything i just find it very difficult to see a continue to this day. My girlfriend is away working daytime and im all alone in my apartment and dont really know what to do with the time. I must have lost the sense of music from all the touring. Im about to try to finish the album the next month. Thought i was finished with a song but dearest friend oscar called me last night (was he drunk?) and handed me the critics. All in a very kind way but all so true. Dear John is gonna be the last album in the full colour style. I don't see a possible way to go after this, and im not even sure it is gonna be good. Even if i sometimes think it might be fantastic. But i guess not. Its quite difficult to see the point with it all. We agreed yesterday it all about being happy (and i added make other people happy occasionally), much harder to do it it real life. Im in that strange situation, i dont have job, i work with my hobby. God knows for how long though, if it goes like it is going now. Got to do something soon. i the meantime ill do my best to finish the album, always something. Here what it is up to now; "Everything turns to you", "You you you", "Under a silent sea", "Harsh words", "I got lost", "I fell asleep in the lions mouth", "Titans", "Airport surroundings". working on song "summers" and i hope to get a reply from andreas (wildbirds and peacedrums) with his addings to a drum part to a song. I realise some of them are pretty damn good, but still dont know why im doing this. I actually look forward to the tour in may, cant wait to see berlin. Feel free to mail me flat things. Näckrosvägen 28, 16937 Solna, SWEDEN.

Charles Ives (1874-1954). Unknown during lifetime, worked as a insurance salesman. (Next part from wikipedia) His works have dissonance, which comes from untrained voices singing a hymn together. some voices straining and sharpening the pitch, others just missing and flattening the pitch, creating a cluster of tones instead of a single tone. In addition, Charles Ives' music has polyrhythm, which comes from untrained voices singing a hymn together. some voices were slightly ahead of the beat while others lagged behind. Finally, Charles Ives' music has polytonality which comes from two bands in a parade, each playing a different tune in a different key.

10th of march. It's been a good week for making music. I guess i'm writing this because it might be interesting to read in a couple of years, when you know if i ever was able to finish dear john (the album). Working on a song with working title "You you you". Its a neat little song. Sometimes i love it. I realised yesterday that I am actually going to play Berlin this spring. Feels amazing. When i was seven years old i never thought i would go there, all because of the (at least what i thought) dangerous journey through East Germany.

TECHNICAL INQUIRY: Is there anyone out there that think that resampling a sample library in a locked format sounds like to the most fun thing to do this spring? It would mean the world to me and i'd be thankful forever. Send me a mail and ill send you details in that
case. I guess you'll be a part of the music then. I'll pay you what you ask for.

He looks similar to me, but look at the moustasche to tell the difference.
Otherwise I'm stalking a stalker at the local library that used to blog about me. Times change!

27 SEPT. Ok, I look forward to going out playing again. For the first time ever it seems. Hope its gonna be good. We are going to play some dates with the a-m-azing andrew bird. For once it feels good to really be the underdog and to know you will always stay there. Go see him. Circus Loney has two new attractions for you, Cecilia Persson (paavopaavo.com) is playing with us in UK during october, and Andreas Werliin is drumming with us during the november tour. The ticket might be worth just to hear them.

Btw, for the moment i am looking for a bass clarinet and a double bass. ps. i might even make an album soon, need time and space.

12 SEPT. Something made me shout at the breakfast reading the paper. I happen to love low-pitch wind instruments. Especially combined with words such as; "never before used" etc.
DN: I helgen fullbordas Wagners "Ringen" på Operan i Stockholm. Till premiären har Operan låtit tillverka Wagnerska tjurhorn för att "Ragnarök" ska få den rätta klangen. ... Plötsligt skorrar det oroväckande i orkestern i andra akten av Richard Wagners opera "Ragnarök". På scenen står Hagen, en listig mörksinnad typ, och kallar på sina mannar, att de ska komma med vapen i hand. Hade ljudet kommit ur stereon hemma hade skulle jag ha kollat om högtalarna var spräckta. Men den ovanliga klangen är direkt inskrivet i partituret av Wagner, som gillade att experimentera med den klassiska orkestern. ... - Jag har formgivit mina nya tjurhorn som tidlösa långa raka signaltrumpeter. Det viktiga är att konstruera dem så att de spricker i klangen, säger Lars Gerdt. ...
(The following part is accompanied with a shout)
Tjurhornen är inte det enda instrument som är annorlunda i Wagnerorkestern. Här finns till exempel återtagandet av den ofantligt stora kontrabastrombonen som dittills aldrig använts i en symfoniorkester, och de så kallade Wagnertuborna med sin saftiga klang. Här låter Wagner den vanliga hornklangen vandra ner i basen till tubans register, men instrumentet spelas alltid av en hornist. marcus boldemann i dagens nyheter 12 sept.

6 September. If you ever hear a bassoon on Dear John (album).

Besides that, im just preparing myself and my equipment for the battle.

17th of AUGUST.

8th of APRIL. Pennsylvania, State College. This is btw our first poster ever from our concert at Union Hall in Brooklyn.

Suddenly it changed. Not gonna stay for so many days but it was a big difference. Had a couple of days off in NY, and even got some hours to sit down with my computer to make some music. Its been an extremely long tour for a person with a weak heart. Now we are touring with Low, and we get to share their extremely nice audiences every night. Yesterday we played the Somerville theatre close to Boston. Today we drove for 6 hours to get to State College, Pennsylvania. Pretty soon the Noir-album is gonna be released in Europe and im feeling pretty proud of it. Its exactly the same album as i released on my own one and a half years ago, and no one payed very much attention, and suddenly things are much bigger. quite strange for me. anton and other fans, there is gonna be another record coming out pretty soon. i'll have to play you the songs pretty soon, would love to get some feedback on them. some people think its the best ive done so far, for my own i dont know. i just would like to spend some more time working on it. The world is a little to big for touring, and it seems you could do it forever. the band is getting much better, samuel keeps extracting all kinds of sounds, and we have picked up the songs Citadel and Life has been this low. They have become really nice, full grown songs. Looking forward to play them for you. Actually, today we played the extremely old song, Slow day for the first time in, say, three years. See you in april, may or june.

14 aug. I used to make you songs so easily. Back to the hard work, lad. I've got some fine songs for the coming album. I'm really looking forward to making it all the way. It takes time. So much things to deal with all the time. Did i mention the Sub Pop deal in the U.S is done? Think its gonna be good.

8th of July. I'm about to release Loney, Noir in the U.S with some folks in north western USA. 

14th of June. Live recordings in the "former John Peel-sessions" studio, Maida Vale Music Studios (MV Four). To be broadcasted on BBC Radio One in August 2006. Tune in. We recorded the songs Carrying a stone, I am John, Saturday waits and I do what I can. Next day we did a show at the buffalo bar, and saw sweden score one nil to Paraguay. Got a strange phone call today from a swedish newspaper asking about sell-outs. I guess they mean this new polyphonic deal initiated in the 10th century. SELL OUT! 

Haven't slept proper for two days but in a superstiff airport chair and a ryanair aeroplane. London was nice, and i think the maida vale BBC session was great. Do enjoy the low resolution pictures!













9TH OF JUNE: Wrote a nice song yesterday. Don't happen too often these days. Felt happy about it. Had some worries how we will get Samuel and David from Hultsfred 18:25 to Jönköping 20:30. Hope it will work out. 

4TH OF JUNE. "Have I told you 'bout the titans in my dreams? About the large ships that are floating next to me?" (dear john)
Went to Århus, Denmark with the fiver. Did an interview with Sofie from the Danish radio (P3 den elektriske barometer), we had a good time and we recorded four songs acoustic outside the hotel under some trees. On the way home we introduced the fatwa against speaking fake-danish in tour bus and on the airplane. 
I work so slow these days, but I love the new song "Don't use harsh words" for the coming album Dear John. Hope to send you some sample songs soon Anton. I guess I won't mind the deadline anymore, will just try to have some fun with the recording stuff and have some summer vacation too. 

28 MAJ "Natten står grå utanför mitt fönster och bak fjärran fuktiga skogar rasslar ett tåg.
Vad det är gräsligt trist att leva." / Harriet Löwenhielm
-----------



Night of the 22th of May. I have made about five albums in three years, written about 70-80 songs and recorded at least 60. I am getting quite exhausted, and i am working really hard for the moment and almost acheiving nothing. I have such a strong longing for getting the chance to write more, better, new songs. I dont know what it is worth, but i want it so bad. I am gonna buy myself a piano, get me a good place to put it and just get back to work. As soon as i can. Some songs are ready for the new record (i guess about five). I dont know why i think i have to prove that i am good all of the time. i guess its my state of mind. In the meantime im into some business, someones got to do that too. - Loney, Noir will be released in the US in january 2007, hopefully earlier in europe but dont really know.

17 MAJ. "Jag stod bredvid Emil (Loney, Dear) på Irene så jag passade på att önska mina två favoritlåtar. den ena skulle dom redan spela sa han, "the city, the airport" men den andra, "i will call you lover again" visste han inte om han kunde göra. men efter att jag stått och tjatat en stund om att det var den bästa låten så verkade han ge med sej lite. Och sen körde han den som första extranummer och jag blev SÅ GLAD även fast det var en halvtaskig version, han kom inte ihåg hur den gick. Men åhhh. :D"

I have started to ride the bike a lot again. Helmet, black jacket and a fast legs. Got a phonecall from the swedish department of a very large bank the other month. they offered me to sell my soul and "namanama"-song. i said no thanks. 


12 maj. Jobbar med femte loneyskivan Dear John. Vet inte när den kommer att bli klar. Alla låtar har samma ackordföljd. Jag tror inte det beror på dålig fantasi utan snarare att jag gillar det just nu. Hoppas gallra bort några av de sångerna så småningom. Inbillar mig att det kommer låta lite som när Elvis och Frank Sinatra spelade med lite större band och några i bandet var extremt stela och andra lite lättare under fötterna. Det verkar som om att det kommer att ges ut en skiva i staterna under 2007, ser faktiaskt fram mot detta, inget klart än men kunde nog bli bra. 

Har spelat lite sporadiskt under våren och kommer att fortsätta så under sommaren. Ta gärna chansen att delta i kommande skiva genom att skicka de finaste melodierna du vet på blandskivor till mig. Adressen får du på nilsemil(at)gmail.com. Nedan en bild från när vi kompade Nicolai på artonde våningen på ett hotell i Austin, Texas. Stora sjok med trafik i röda och vita rännilar flöt längs landskapet och solen sänkte sig. Lite till höger i bild bodde Walter som vi bodde hos. Han är uppvuxen på ett smugglarplan.



MARCH the 6th. Friends, we're coming to Austin and New York to play some songs for you. David Lindvall (stand in for oskar), Samuel, Ola, Malin and me. And Per minding the business. 

We've done some shows lately, the latest and greatest was at Södra Teatern the 26th of Feb. 

I'm working on the fifth loneyalbum now. Hopefully it will be good. Don't know yet. Hard work is to come. Thank you ola, emil, oscar, oskar, nils, thomas, samuel, malin, per, robin, filiph for södran 26th. 

Found myself a new home in Solna. 

Sakta växer skivan Dear John (#5) fram. Några riktiga pärlor känns det som det kan bli, men allt är sirap just nu och går trögt. Min kompis köpte en svensk utgåva av en Martin Luther King-bok. Förstrött bläddrade han i den och såg att den var signerad.

24 JANUARY 2006. Im done with the rerecording of the album "river fontana" originally released in 2003 or something. This is a somwhat more blurry version of the album photo to the album Sologne that is to be released. 




12/12 2005 19:45
Från: Ida Fahl
Hej igen Emil! Kan du tänka dej att om jag förra torsdagen inte hade stått och borstat snön av min bil, hade jag aldrig hört radioreportaget om dej i P3. 
1. En höggravid kvinna kommer fram till mej vid bilen och ber om stöd att gå till affären så att hon inte ramlar omkull. Hon är mer gravid på bredden än längden från topp till tå, så självklart går vi hand i hand till affären fast vi inte känner varandra. 
2. Vi lär därefter känna varandra, hon är från Afganistan och pratar knagglig svenska. Jag bjuds på chai och ett berg med kakor och vi tittar på videofilm från broderns persiska bröllop. Sanslöst spännande! 
3. Barnet behagar födas en vecka för tidigt och jag har lovat kvinnan och hennes man skjuts till sjukhuset då de inte har nån bil. Sjukhuset ligger fem mil från Piteå. 
4. En dotter föds på lördagen och jag tar med mannen hem till Piteå i min bil. 
5. Han pratar INGEN svenska, så vi slår på radion. 
6. Ett helt program om dej!!! 
7. E4:an sjunger och hoppar till din musik! 
8. Sen skrev jag en egen låt, den andra denna vecka. Si, det var ett och ett halvt år sen jag fick nåt vettigt ur skallen. Mörkret är för stort ibland. Det verkar ljusna. 

Vad härligt livet kan vara! Det är väl skitbra att du är för snål för att låta bolag tjäna pengar på dina kompositioner. Sketabra att du startar egen etikett, värsta snygga namnet! 

KRAM *IDA* 


1 DEC. Mot Visby. Mäktig sjö.

1) nothing means nothing at all, 2) i'm too slow, 3) trouble come along, 4) last night i took..., 5) sleeper, 6) knife floor sleep, 7) calm down emil, 8) run run, 9) there are several alberts here, 10) at my best still I don't reach it, 11) and i couldn't even, 12) don't try to feel

20 NOV. Bilen stannade samma dag f ö angående inlägg 14 okt 2005. Eller rättare den startade inte nästa dag. Fredrik Ivarsson från göteborg/JKPG har tagit tidernas loneybild. Ska fixa en mer högupplöst, fick länk i mailen idag. Spelade i GBG på pustevik 18e nov. Stor publik och vacker publik. (i love you, i am john, meter marks ok, trinidad and tobago, city, where are..., carrying, a few good, i do what i can, i am the odd one, namanama, saturday minst)



Foto: Fredrik Ivarsson

14 OKT. Har åkt i den röda bilen som det sjungs om i sista låten. Den är alltid på väg att stanna. Idag skissade vi på tänkbara utfall med dels växellåda/koppling och startmotorincidenter.

diesellok. bromma flygplats (blå ljusen). jenny wren. varm dryck. hihat + cymbal. puka med klubbor. kvällen i okt (inte morgon, natt, förmiddag, eftermiddag) . dernulf, 1 lofifnk-låt. vattnet mellan visingsö och gränna. fälten utanför bromma flygplats. munkjonas. britt och david. dom i bromma. julie. sigge. katten. oscar. 

13 SEPT. Ordnade en fin hårddiskkrasch idag som jag fortfarande håller på att styra av. (02:21) 

11 SEPT 2005. Ny studio (3118 (odlar myten)), renovering av gamla skivan The year of river fontana klar nov 2005. har spelat in ny version av warm, dark comforting night. spelning på landet den 20e. fotografering för lokaltidning imorgon, samt intervju. 

29 AUGUSTI 2005. Det är drömmen om den nya musiken. Treklangens och tolvtonens musik. 

25 AUGUSTI. Odlar myten om loney, dear. Bananer, numrerade skivor. 

16 AUGUSTI. Anton! Nu är den klar. Den ser ut som man gjort den i slöjden eller så men den är fin i solljus. Den utförliga texten på baksidan är i princip helt oläslig. loney, noir är på det hela taget är en fin historia om johnny, om hoppet, om den trasiga bilen, om egiljohansengospel, om loney, om saturday nights, om hårda dagar, om att vara the odd one. Om oron och allt det andra. Skivan är numrerad och Mathias Engwall fick den första.  

16th of August. Finally the record LONEY, NOIR is ready. The paper cover is already made too. Ten fine songs from the first half of 2005. It was recorded in Bromma and Jönköping on four different locations, but finished in Ljungarum, Jönköping the 13th of August 05:00 in the morning. I am so proud of it! 

10th of JUNE. Loney, noir is doing good. I think i'll make it to the 28th of august. A few good things (that i usually wouldnt like about my situation) but enjoy today; 1) everytime my computer get a hangup (once an hour) i get a healthy break. 2) i can't record too many tracks. every good song consists of FEW tracks. nowadays atleast. 3) bad weather, is good weather in my recording studio. 

6 JUNI. Har pysslat lite med att renovera skivan sologne låtarna #4 till #7, med lite nyinspelat och ommixat. Jag tycker det blir lite bättre.Skivan Loney, Noir går sakta framåt men det är mycket att tampas med, är på god väg att bli galen över det. Jag behöver någonstans att sitta och jobba. Som det ser ut nu så är skivan så här: tio låtar, cirka 35 minuter, alltså cirka 3 min per låt. 1. SINISTER, vacker långsam låt om allt man vill ha; a state of hope. 2. JOHNNY AND I (så kan den ju inte heta) har jobbat på texten i 3 månader, börjar nå fram. 3. No one can win here. Orosgospel. 4. SATURDAY WAITS. jättebra. 5. CARRYING A STONE jättebra. 6. I am the odd one. de andras favorit. 7. Hard days came over me. (nu är de här igen) Loney går västkustfunk. 8. Jorden skall rämna och himlen därovan. Vacker sång utan sång i Ess-moll med saxofonmelodi. 9. I'll call you lover again. Vals med fin bas. 10. har jag glömt.

30 MAJ. Det blir en härlig spelning på mosebacke ikväll om allt går som det ska. Klarinett och kopptrumpet. Oskar och Samuel spelar med också. Om inget oförutsett sker: uruppförande för SINISTER/STATE OF HOPE, I AM THE ODD ONE, GREKERNA (nåja, men loney iaf) CALM DOWN, EMIL mfl. 

17 MAJ. I have moved my recording studio 5 times during 2005 and im starting to feel tired. Promised myself last night to never start recording again. We'll see. Parallell to that statement, im finishing, or rather polishing the album Sologne, to perhaps have a chance to let american loneyfans have a chance to buy the records. I have made some progressions in the song Le Fever, with some fine saxophones, and i've used the ride cymbal malins brother gave to me quite frequently. New vinylsingle "The battle of trinidad and tobago" out now on doloresrecordings.com / EMI. I've always known my first record will be released on EMI since i learned to spell my name, and comparing it to the record label.

About ten songs ready for the forthcoming album LONEY, NOIR. *JOHNNY AND I; great uptempo song with magic happy melodies and great floortom sounds. * LARGO, slow song, larger than life. The original melody from the interlude in the song Hold me, from The Year of river fontana. * ALONG CAME MOLLY * SATURDAY WAITS, great song. My father says its the best loneysong ever. kioskvältare! * JORDEN SKA RÄMNA OCH HIMLEN DÄROVAN. Marschtango with four tenorsaxophones. Classic! * CARRYING A STONE (!) finally. * NOONE CAN WIN HERE. loney does the gospel. * SIT REAL STILL AND WAIT TIL SUMMER. kraftwerk meets bacharach little brother. * SINISTER/STATE OF HOPE * I'LL CALL YOU LOVER AGAIN and many more. 

25 APRIL. spelningen med oskar schönning (bandet) på landet 29 mars. saxofon och sjöng Moon River, med Nils och pojkarna.

13 APRIL. Loney, noir-inspelningar. Klarinett, golvpuka, melodier och cymbal. Elektrisk bas går inte av för hackor heller. Morgan (t.f. exekutiv producent Loney, noir) tycker inte jag ska låna reverend Aldors kontrabas. Aldor kallar den f ö för bassen. 

19 MARS. Sisyfos.

Natten till 16 FEBRUARI. Spelade på mosebacke igår på en måndag

10 JANUARI. Nästa skiva ska ha ett svart pappersomslag och heta loney noir. (En låt ska heta Branco.)
8 JANUARI 2005. Gjorde en intervju med erik wärlegård och behövde lite pressbilder. john babil (istvans bror) kom förbi och vi tog lite foton mot NY-fonden i mitt gamla pojkrum. Håller på att rita ut linjerna för nästa loneyLP. jobbar med lite nya låtar och några verkar bli väldigt bra. 

Ska trotsa orkanen och så småningom bege mig till bromma för att fortsätta med inspelandet och skrivandet. Har åtnjutit de sena timmarna på jönköpings bibliotek tre dagar i rad nu. Nästa gång ska jag kolla in böckerna de har också. 22 DECEMBER. Efter fyra månaders slit är nya skivan klar. Man blir galen, trött.